Such Fooled Hearts
by ostrobogulous
Summary: When two accidental wishaways don't find the post-Sarah Labyrinth or its brooding King particularly welcoming, Kath is forced to confront angry gnomes, cups of tea, slavering hell-hounds, and a Goblin King who loathes her guts... or does he?
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer::** I do not own Labyrinth or anything associated with it, including Jareth. Please don't rub it in. A girl can only wish..._

_**Warning::** This is NOT a J/S story, and the prologue is in a different style than the rest of the story. It's just a tale that inveigled itself into my brain and I had to get rid of it somehow..._

_Enjoy?_

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Once upon a time, in a magical land far, far away, there lived a certain King.

This King ruled over a vast land rich in wonders and brimming with magic. From within his grand castle he spun a intricate web of dreams and fears, creating – as his job entailed – a deep labyrinth, embodying the brightness and darkness that lurked in the very heart of mankind.

Despite the company of his entertaining if tiring subjects and the diverse array of magical creatures in the land, the King was alone.

While the King would never admit that he was _lonely_, he was still _alone_.

Which wouldn't be so bad, if he wasn't centuries old and only had forever to look forward to.

Forever, alone.

It could make anyone bitter.

And then, of course, there was a girl.

She was bratty sometimes, but young, headstrong, and pretty, and definitely amusing.

She was temperamental, and indecisive. She had used the power in the King's name to wish a baby away, and then, like the child she was, wanted him back.

A wish granted is not easily annulled.

But within the span of thirteen hours, she solved his labyrinth, led his subjects to treason, destroyed his subjects' city and turned his usually uneventful life upside down. Her sincere naivety repelled the dark traps and nightmares of the labyrinth and instead attracted allies and friends.

The King had never experienced anything like this. All of his previous wish-challengers had been pathetic and weak-willed, passing trivialities. Disappointingly forgettable.

Her innocence and strong spirit attracted him like a moth to a flame.

It was only natural that he try to keep her. And the baby, of course.

After all, then the King might no longer be alone.

But she scorned his power, rejected his offers, humiliated him, and in the end, after exceeding his greatest expectations and reclaiming his precious child, completely forgot about him.

Forgot.

Worst of all, the King could do nothing about it. The girl had said the words, and her strong belief made them true.

He had no power over her.

The King could not find her, talk to her, follow her, even watch her back in her own world.

And so, she forgot. Moved on. Grew up. Had a family. Lived her life normally, to a nice old age, and died happy.

Any King does not enjoy being forgotten. Especially so utterly. It was humiliating.

And then they went and made a _movie_ out of it.


	2. Chapter One

_Yadda, yadda, I don't own anything 'cept my characters, kay? All and any song quotes are copyringht to their respective artists._

_Also, just a warning, my chapters are long._

_Labyrinth goodness coming up, don't worry. I don't want this story to be what you expect. Oh, and if you read this, I'd appreciate if you could drop me a comment to tell me how you like it so far. Thank ya very much. :)  
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_You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do_

_And it's breaking my heart in two_

_Because I never wanna see you sad, girl_

_Don't be a bad girl_

_But if you wanna leave, take good care_

_Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there_

_But just remember there's a lot of bad_

_And beware..._

_~Wild World by Cat Stevens_

The doorbell rang.

Treading softly on her heels in order to minimize the tapping noise, the girl crept to the door as quickly and quietly as she could.

"A-_hem_? Katherina Alexandria _Ben_nett!"

Dang. She halted in her tracks as her father appeared out of nowhere and planted himself in front of her, hands on his hips, barring access to the front door. "Now you just wait one moment, young lady. You're not going anywhere just yet."

"I don't know why I even tried." Kath unsuccessfully suppressed a giggle at her dad's uncharacteristically stern mask and rolled her eyes. She dropped into a neat curtsy, ruffling her blue-green dress artfully. The corner of his mouth twitched. "Why please, sir, do continue into your extensively illuminating monologue."

He shook his head, finally smiling. "Okay, Kath, I know you're a senior now and all of that nonsense, but understand that your mother and I need some peace of mind while you're out there cavorting the night away." Kath's mother poked her head out of the kitchen and, grinning, waved a spatula at the girl before disappearing again and leaving her to the biannual Lecture.

"Even though you're more than old enough to make your own decisions – heck, you could leave the house if you wanted to – just know that as your parents, we only want what's best for you." His honey brown eyes grew soft, and Kath couldn't stop herself from smirking. She practically knew this speech by heart.

"Kath, I know that you are a clever, beautiful, kind, and competent young woman with a heart of pure gold. And I hope you know that too." He smoothed her wavy chestnut hair behind her ear fondly. "But to me, you'll always be my little girl. It's a wild world out there, where you have to take care of yourself, because no one else will. But remember that balance and moderation are key. You can't always serve only yourself, of course, but you can't always be putting yourselves below others. What might look like the right way to go at first... ends up being a lot more than you bargained for." His eyes grew distant for a moment, and Kath waited patiently. She appreciated her dad's affectionate worrying, even if it was a little bit overdone and long-winded. People had their quirks. Kath and her mom had long since accepted Mr. Bennett's overprotectiveness.

The doorbell rang again. Kath raised her eyebrow questioningly. Her dad laughed and shook his head in defeat. "Fine, I'll cut it short. Don't talk to any strange men, always check what you're eating or drinking, especially if someone gives it to you, keep your friends close, don't get lost, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, be nice to everyone no matter what, don't let anyone hurt you or take advantage of you, always look for the simplest exit, remember the self-defense I taught you and don't forget your pepper spray--" He sheepishly cut off as Kath's mother walked up with an amused expression on her face.

"Dear, she's going to a dance with a group of her friends, not... whatever you think she's going to do. You're keeping her from all those guys outside. Have fun at prom, sweetie," she cooed, and kissed Kath on the top of the head as the doorbell rang for a third time. Kath thanked her with her eyes for the timely intervention, hugged them both tight, not caring about the increasingly rumpled state of her hair, before finally saying goodbye, grabbing her bag, opening the door and stepping outside into the evening air.

"KATH!" A small group of tuxedoed young men immediately welcomed her with wide smiles and bear hugs. Exceedingly comfortable with the company of her four best guy friends, Kath couldn't help but grin at their exuberant brotherly love. Well, mostly brotherly. As they exchanged silly bantering quips and headed en masse towards Jason's large classic red truck, Jason claimed her side.

"Well hello, Jason," Kath said primly, tilting her head to look up at his face. "What brings you to my side this fine evening?"

The tall football player flashed a dazzling grin and linked arms with her. "My lady Katharina, I come to you yet again in beseeching suppliance. Will you not go to prom with me... as my date?"

"In your dreams, jock boy," Kath laughed. "You know I don't want a date, silly. I don't need a _man_ to feel complete." She made a dramatic flourish and stuck her tongue out at his slightly crestfallen face, feeling a little guilty. "Why? Couldn't find a date? I thought the girls were all over you."

"Nah. I guess it's more fun as a group of friends anyway. I don't need a _woman _to be happy," Jason mocked jovially, and courteously opened the door of the truck for her. Kath winced inwardly at his subtly resigned expression.

"Well, _personally_, I can't think of a better way to spend our last high school dance than with a bunch of good friends," Kath agreed cheerily as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Hear, hear," Tyler, Josh, and Mike chorused, squished into the back of the cab. Jason gave a wry grin and headed around to the driver's side.

"So Eddie is picking Amelie up and we're all meeting there, right?" Kath interjected into the conversation about halfway to the dance. It was downtown this time, in one of the old Victorian buildings with springy floors. The radio played softly on as the guys fell silent.

"Mmhm," Jason affirmed listlessly, staring out the window. He had been overly quiet the entire ride. Kath felt helplessly guilty, though not even sure for what.

Right on cue, her purse buzzed. She wrestled her cellphone out and flipped open the screen to read the text. "Hey, it's from Amie," she murmured. The car stayed silent.

"hey sweetie, just wantd to let

you know not to look for me

the dance, im not gonna b there...

have fun with the boys ;) ~ton amie"

Kath looked up from the screen, suddenly still. "Jason," she began very slowly. "Why won't Amie be at the dance?"

Jason sighed heavily. "Listen, Kath... I talked to Amie and she said she's fine. Eddie's just a jerk. You don't need to go play the heroine for h--"

"Jason." Kath's usually warm brown eyes were hard as ice. "Turn around right now and take me to Amie's."

Jason's hands tightened on the wheel. "Kath..." he began unhappily, "Kath, senior prom is a once-in-a-lifetime event. It's supposed to be something you're going to remember for the rest of your life..."

"He's right, Kath... you can't always sacrifice for others," Mike tentatively offered from the back.

Jason gave her carefully blank face a nervous glance. "Look, I know you love Amie, but she herself said she's fine, maybe she doesn't want you always coming to her rescue, she wants you to have fun.. you never get out, we want to hang out with you too, you know.. you gotta go to your last big event before college--"

"JASON." Kath was perched stiffly on her seat, her voice ringing like a steel trap. "Either turn the car around _right now _or stop and let me out."

Mutely, Jason turned into a side-street to do a U-turn. The streetlights flashed by for several minutes as the radio switched songs in the background before Kath exploded.

"Do you even _know _Amie? Oh yeah, she may _say_ she's fine, but she's probably having one of her trademark physical/mental tantrums right this moment!" She turned around to glare at the sheepish-looking guys in the back. "When did you guys find out about this and why in hell did you hide it from me? I'm her best friend!"

They stared unhappily back at her. Kath softened a little at their hangdog dejected appearance. "Yeah, I know you meant well," she muttered, feeling a little guilty again. "And I'm sorry I can't have an awesome time at prom with you guys tonight, but Amie needs me." She shot a look at Jason, who was fiddling with his tie with one hand as he stared intently at the road. "I know you guys will miss me and I'll miss you, but you guys have each other. And I'm sure you could find some girls to... hang out with." She gave a brief, mischievous smile, then grew solemn again. "But Amie isn't like that. She doesn't have a bunch of awesome people like you there to support her. She only has me. And I'm sure as heck not going to ditch her like Eddie did." She sank into her seat, grumbling softly to herself as she justified.

The mood in the car relaxed almost tangibly once they saw that her anger had diffused down from a dangerous level.

"Hear, hear," Tyler repeated weakly, and Kath gave him a soft smile as the car reluctantly pulled up to Amelie's house.

"All right, Kath, have fun," Jordan said in mockingly serious voice as she fumbled with the seat belt buckle, but she could tell it was strained. "Don't run into any creepy stalkers between here and the front door. Oh, don't let Amie's emotions bulldoze you over, don't eat too much ice cream, don't --"

"You sound like my dad," Kath laughed, and to the intense surprise of them both, she leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "And thanks, for everything." She hightailed it out of the car and sauntered up the walkway, ignoring the whoops and whistles coming from behind her. She smiled, ducking her head and resisting the urge to reach up and touch her tingling lips.

She knocked confidently on the wide, familiarly elegant front door before turning and waving as the truck pulled away. She felt a sudden pang of regret as she thought of the warm, crowded, loud, exciting dance hall the boys were heading towards, of the of the classic senior year memories she was missing out on.

The door smoothly opened to reveal Amelie's exceedingly frail-looking and petite mother. Mme Mabouf had a severely preoccupied expression on her face that immediately smoothed out at the sight of Kath. "Ahhh, bonsoir, ma cherie! Comment vas-tu?" She beamed and let her into the bright and welcoming living room.

"Ca va tres bien, merci, madame. Comment allez vous? Ou est Amelie?" she responded more slowly with a smile.

"Ehh... dans elle chambre. Merci beaucoup d'etre venue..." Mme's eyes were wide and pleading. "Because she eez watching _heem_ again."

"Oui, oui," Kath said absent-mindedly, her acquired knowledge of french stretched to the limit, and escaped up the stairs. She had a pretty good idea who '_heem'_ was...

Light spilled out from the crack under Amie's door. Kath carefully pushed it open and covertly slipped in, feeling like a ninja.

And stopped in her tracks, dumbfounded.

Amie was sprawled out in her prom dress in front of the television, her flyaway dyed blonde hair a chaotic mess and mascara streaks all down her face as she dug into a entire gallon of double chocolatey chunk ice cream and watched a certain someone wearing ridiculously tight pants strut across the screen, dancing and singing fit for an 80's karaoke party.

Wait... was that... she groaned inwardly.

"What did I tell you about watching Labyrinth??"

Amelie gave an ear-piercing scream, jerked around, the spoon flying out of her hand and narrowly missing Kath's head as she ducked. Without warning, the other girl switched from startled fear to exuberant welcome and threw herself at her.

"KATH!! I _knew_ you wouldn't abandon me!" She gave Kath a surprisingly bone-crushing hug for one her size. "You're the greatest!"

Suddenly, Amie's smile faltered and she broke down into tears, going limp in Kath's arms. Gently, Kath propped her up on the bed, dug out a comb from her purse, and started brushing out her short blonde hair. 'Dance, Magic, Dance' continued to play in the background. Kath winced and turned her eyes away from the TV to shield her innocence. _Were those pants _really_ necessary? _Kath had never actually watched the movie, since watching that song on Youtube was more than enough to scare her far, far away. Which was a pity, because Kath actually liked David Bowie as a singer and songwriter_,_ while Amie just had this weird obsession with the movie, especially the character he played... Jar-something.

After a few long teary moments, Amie sniffled and wiped her nose, muttering, "I'm okay now." She turned around and grinned weakly at Kath, then reached for the remote to sheepishly turn off the TV. "Well, whatever, fine. Let's have some actual fun, now... Who needs boys, right?" She sniffled again pathetically.

Within minutes, a cleaned-and-prettied-up Amelie and a supportively compliant Kath were sitting criss-cross applesauce on the carpeted floor, sipping mugs of hot chocolate, snacking on eclairs, and flipping through stacks of Cosmogirl magazines, pointing out hot guys or 'wise' girl advice. Kath didn't really care for the magazines which she thought were pretty pointless, but the situation called for acting like typical girly-girl middle schoolers.

Almost completely opposite her culture-centric immigrant mother, Amie was all-American in everything but her blood. Apart from the slight accent and occasional French tantrums, you could hardly guess she had moved to the U.S. six years ago. She had immersed herself so utterly that Kath often regretted the loss of her French culture and background, how she had discarded it so completely. American culture wasn't really all that special, especially in comparison to the charming quirkiness of French living. It made Kath extremely sad that Amelie wanted so much to fit in that she rejected her own culture...

Interrupting Kath's careening train of thought, Amie returned yet again to the touchy subject of the male species.

"So did you hear Eddie's been trying to hook up with Kristen?" Amie said, trying to be nonchalant and smoothing out her now-slightly-crinkled low red dress.

Kath chucked a magazine at her. "No, and I don't care, either. Stop brooding, Amie! Eddie is the jerkiest jerk who ever existed. I never really understood why you liked him."

Amie sulked prettily, her blonde hair falling over her eyes as she watched Kath ditch the rest of the magazines and move to peruse her bookcase. "A girl's gotta have a boy," she sighed.

"That is SO not true," Kath muttered, running her fingers over the spines of the familiar books.

"It is so. Boys are happy-making, and you know it. Well, maybe you don't, but someday you will. I refuse to let you die an old spinster," Amie yawned and grabbed another eclair. "Oh, that reminds me; how are you and Jason nowadays?"

Kath's cheeks flared as she remembered her random compulsion to kiss him good-bye in the car. "I'm not _interested_ in having a boyfriend, Amie."

The French girl smiled slyly. "Even Jason? I'm sure he's interested. You're almost cruel to that boy, _ma petit cocotte. _He's as good as they get, you know." She rolled her eyes. "I just don't get you. What sane girl doesn't want a _boyfriend_?"

"I thought we've already established that we're both far from sane," Kath laughed a little bitterly, hiding her inward feelings of jumbled confusion. "Speaking of which..." She pulled out a small leather-bound book with gold embossed lettering and held it up. "How long have you had this?"

Amie's face lit up and she snatched the book from her, cradling it lovingly. "I finally managed to buy it a couple days ago!! I can't believe it! It's the original book actually in the movie with the whole princess story and everything!"

Kath sighed heavily. "Do you realize how wrong it is that you are so obsessed with an 80's puppet movie based around a bratty 14-year-old and a creepy old stalker?"

"15. And maybe you would understand it you actually _watched_ it," Amie sulked. "Besides, you _like_ David Bowie."

Kath shuddered. "I've already seen more than I'll ever want to," she countered, looking pointedly at the TV screen. "And I like David Bowie's _music._ He's not my favorite rock star because of his acting as a Devil King or something in a Jim Henson kid's movie."

"Goblin King. But he is _hot_."

"And three times your age!" Secretly, Kath agreed with Amie in that respect, but she was never going to _tell_ her that. That would be negative reinforcement.

"You didn't deny it!" Amie crowed triumphantly.

Kath plopped down on the bed with a defeated sigh. "You can't be a megastar with at least something going for you in the looks department," she grudgingly admitted.

Amie was practically dancing with her small victory. Kath decided enough was enough. "What _I_ don't get is that you don't even like his music at _all_. It doesn't make any sense."

Amie flopped onto the bed beside her. "It's all about the character, woman." She got a dreamy look in her eyes, and Kath shook her head in disgust.

"Whose, Bowie's or the Prince guy?" she asked critically, lying on her back and hanging her head off the side of the bed and letting her long hair cascade down.

"He's the _Goblin King_." Amie joined in on the head-hanging. "...And he's dark and powerful and just plain smexy."

"I think the blood's messing up your head," Kath groaned. "That --" she waved a hand in the direction of the TV, " -- was NOT dark and powerful."

Amie giggled and flipped open the Labyrinth book, holding it upside down in order to read it while hanging. "You'll never understand... lookie, here. The ballroom scene is the greatest thing _ever_." She passed it to Kath, but it dropped on the ground. Kath picked it up and opened it to a random page, reading out loud in a dramatic voice as she held it at arm's length.

"Goblin King, Goblin King, take this child far away from me!" Kath intoned dramatically, then squinted at the words. "Wait, is she seriously asking someone to kidnap her kid? That's not very mature of her."

Amelie rolled her eyes. Their heads were starting to prickle and flush from the amount of blood rush to the head. "Those aren't the right words, anyway. It should be more in the format 'I wish the Goblin King would come and take me away, right now.'"

For some strange reason, she paused and held her breath expectantly for a few moments, then looked highly disappointed. Amie turned and gave Kath an upside-down critical look.

"Um." Kath returned her gaze a weird look, wondering why she had altered the pronoun. "I'm pretty sure she wanted him to take away the _baby_, not herself."

"Read the next paragraph down for me, okay?" She reached over and pointed at a line on the page.

"Uh, okay..." The words were starting to get fuzzy on the page as more and more blood collected in her head. Kath blinked, resolving to sit up soon, and guesstimated the words instead of reading them directly off the page. "I wish _we_ would be taken away to the Labyrinth... right now?"

The lights flickered on and off and Amie shrieked, falling off the bed onto her head. Kath automatically bolted up, then nearly fell over as the blood suddenly rushed out of her brain. Head pounding, she waited for the sparkling lights and darkness to clear her vision. She felt Amie clutch at her as the lights flickered again.

Mostly recovered, Kath turned and looked into Amie's wide eyes, rubbing her head. "It's just a power outage," she told the excited girl puzzledly. Amie was looking around her bedroom, slowly deflating as whatever she was hoping would happen... didn't happen. Kath closed her eyes, still feeling weird from the head rush. "Remind me to stop doing that."

"But.. but.." Amie sounded utterly dejected and Kath heard her floop back onto the bed with a disappointed sigh.

"You can stop tugging on me, too," Kath muttered, massaging her temples.

"I'm not," she grumbled, voice muffled in a pillow. "You're tugging en moi."

"No, I'm not..." Kath opened, her eyes, confused, and suddenly something pulled at her, powerfully and violently, and she felt the strangest sensation of tumbling off a cliff into a bottomless dark abyss...


	3. Chapter Two

_'Tis another very long chapter for your personal enjoyment... or so I hope. :) I own nothing except my characters and ideas. Not even the cute little worm. Aww.  
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_Thanks for everybody who's reviewed so far! Any type of feedback is encouraging and very welcome. ;)  
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_You would not believe your eyes  
If ten million fireflies  
Lit up the world as I fell asleep_

_'Cause they'd fill the open air  
And leave teardrops everywhere  
You'd think me rude  
But I would just stand and stare_

_'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs  
From ten thousand lightning bugs  
As they tried to teach me how to dance..._

_I'd like to make myself believe  
That planet earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay  
Awake when I'm asleep_

_'Cause everything is never as it seems  
When I fall asleep_

_It's hard to say that I'd rather stay  
Awake when I'm asleep  
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams..._

_~ Fireflies by Owl City_

Thunk.

"Owwww," Kath groaned. She lay unmoving on the hard ground, struggling to recapture her breath. Lights danced in front of her eyes, then subsided. She stared up at the strangely vibrant sky above her, her dark hair tangled around her face, waiting as the pain in her stomach subsided. After a while, she decided to try sitting up.

Thump. "OOF." A squeal. Amelie fell out of nowhere to smush Kath back into the hard ground.

Breathe in, breathe out. "Give me back the breath that you have stolen," Kath mumbled dazedly at the girl sprawled on top of her.

Seemingly unaffected by the fall – probably due to Kath's role as a convenient human cushion - the small French girl popped to her feet almost immediately and looked around.

"Holy _merde._.." she breathed in wonder. "Kath... you did it. You took us to the Labyrinth!"

Then, without warning, she released a high-pitched scream of glee and began jumping up and down, squealing too fast for Kath to comprehend in her confused current state of mind. Kath tuned her out, listening to her own breathing instead.

She spent a few moments thinking about how brittle and sandy the ground under her was. She realized that was a little strange. But then again, so was randomly falling down through a too-blue sky when she should be hanging out in Amelie's room. Everything was just so strange... so she thus concluded that she must be dreaming. That made much more sense; Kath tended to have the strangest dreams. Since she was dreaming, she decided, in this dream, that there was little chance that something else was going to fall on top of her _again_, so she risked sitting up.

The two girls were on top of a tall, sandy, orange-tinged hill that led down to...

Kath had no idea how to describe it; the complexity, the immensity, the strangeness, the beauty of it. The labyrinth stretched on for what seemed like miles, twisting and knotting like a vast, intricate Celtic design, rising slowly but steadily to the hazy outline of a castle in the far distance. It was fascinating and frightening at the same time. She realized that her mouth was open and slowly closed it, then got to her feet to get a better look of her surroundings.

Behind her, opposite the labyrinth, was just empty, flat desert for as far as the eye could see. If she squinted, she could almost see sunlight glimmering of the outline of mountains in the distance. Gnarled, stunted trees sparsely dotted the dreary landscape. She took a step forward, and the dry sand crunched under her heels. There seemed to be sparkles or something embedded in the ground.

She turned back and looked at the labyrinth. It shimmered, almost glittered, like a snake in the oddly golden sunlight, but it seemed strangely ominous to her. "Like, vibes. Vibes of unwelcomeness," she mused, and chuckled at how silly it sounded, especially spoken out loud. She shook her head, amused. "Geez, this dream is so overly detailed and weird.."

Amie bounded up to her, grabbing Kath's hands excitedly as she began twirling her around, both of their ridiculously out-of-place dresses swirling around them. "I have never been this hyped in my entire life... this is a _total_ dream come true! The only thing that would make it more perfect… technically, Jareth should be here. And the movie made it seem less... dead." She looked around critically, a little annoyed. "Well, I know what I have to do, anyway. This is going to be a piece of cake! Come on, Kath!"

Kath blinked. She could have sworn she had felt a faint, ill-boding tremor in the air at the words 'piece of cake,' but she wasn't sure where it had come from. She shrugged and let the triumphant Amie drag her down the hill. It was just a dream, after all.

The walls to the labyrinth suddenly loomed above them, tall, gray, and imposing, heavy with a forbidden air. Around the base, several small glowing lights zipped around, leaving trails of light, like a shooting star, hanging in the air. Brittle grass grew tall around the walls, but none actually touched the stone... investigating, Kath could only see a shriveled one-foot zone of brown and black around the wall. Curious. She shrugged.

Kath looked at Amie and raised an eyebrow in question, seeing as her friend seemed to be running her dream so far. She realized that probably didn't bode well for their waking relationship.

Amie was at a loss. "Um.. This isn't how it's supposed to happen at all... someone's supposed to challenge us, or something...and then there's this dwarf..." she trailed off helplessly.

"A-hem." They both jumped at the unexpected new voice and glanced wildly around.

"I'm not that short, am I?" the voice grumbled. Right in front of them – Kath wondered how they could have missed it before – stood a shoddy, makeshift table. Behind it lounged a rather bored-looking... for lack of a word, Kath had to say it was a dwarf, though it didn't really look like the gruff, bearded little men that normally popped into her mind when she thought 'dwarf'; it looked a little bit more like a lumpy, hairless gnome. In front of the gnome-dwarf sat a large wicker basket of peaches. Kath pinched herself. This dream was just getting bizarre.

He gave them a critical, low-browed glare. "Not a very friendly pair, are ye? Not even a 'hello', or mebbe a 'good afternoon', or the King forbid, a 'how do you do'?" He tsked and huffed simultaneously, making an interesting sound that Kath wanted to try to recreate sometime. "Mortals. They just get more an' more ill-mannered." He gave Amie, who was staring at him wide-eyed, a pointed look. "Didn't your mother ever tell ye it's rude to stare?"

Amie was still staring at the gnome, and Kath really had no idea what to say. Heedless of their silence, the gnome continued bitingly. "Well, I assume yer here for Jareth. Everyone is. Unfortunately, he's currently and permanently unavailable. I'm his secretary, to put it nicely, but really I'm just a bouncer. He's not taking any wishes, he doesn't want anything to do with ye mortals, he doesn't want yer spare babies, he's not going to recreate the bogdamnit movie, yadda yadda. So he put me 'ere for redirecting ye people who said something stupid and want to take it back, so he doesn't have to deal with you annoying humans." He shot them another shifty glare. Kath was really just getting more and more confused, but by now she could tell two things; this was one unhappy little dwarf who worked for one grouchy King.

"Well, I guess wish-aways are pretty rare nowadays. So I just sit 'ere. Awful boring job. Don't think yer the first to happen across the right words... but ye can just scooty along like the rest of 'em. Don't want ta risk bothering him." He gestured to the beautifully succulent peaches before him. Kath eyed one, a little bit consideringly; they certainly looked tasty, perfectly fuzzy with a delicious blush of pink… "Just a bite of one of these, you'll pop right back into ye nice warm boring safe mortal world. Smart, really. Awfully convenient. His majesty might be a little broody, but he doesn't skimp on stuff that gets rid of ye horrific lot..." A quote came unbiddingly to Kath's mind: "_You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes..._"

"Wait." Amie's eyes were wide with horror. "You mean... we have to go back? We can't solve the labyrinth? We can't meet Jareth?"

The gnome snorted with derision. "Well, if ye have a death wish, ye can just not choose the peach. Then the clock starts, and ye have thirteen hours to get through that god-forsaken place alive. Just eat the peach. It's easy as one, two, three, plus ye don't have to worry about any catty King disemboweling you!" The gnome had acquired a persuasive telemarketer voice. The girls just stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"No, but seriously. Two young girls like ye, wouldn't stand a chance. The Labyrinth's changed; the King's changed. He's oh so bitter about that movie ye stupid mortals made. He'll slip anyone who even mentions it around him into an oubliette, and if yeh talk specifically of the Last Champion..." He shuddered. "Anyway, he's touchy right now, and obviously doesn't want ta concern himself with the mortal-related part of his job right now. If I were ye, I would be running, the other way, not trying ta see him, seeing as he's practically dying for something to take out his moods on." The gnome kicked his legs up onto the table and directed his beady dark gaze at Kath. "Especially you. Ye look way too much like _her_. He hates everything and everyone that reminds him of _her_. Just eat the damn peach.."

He pushed the basket towards them with a dirty foot. Kath stared at the extremely enticing peaches, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. She was so confused, and the gnome's incessant talk really did nothing to help that. All of the Last Champion references and stuff went right over her head. "This is the lamest dream ever," Kath muttered despondently.

Amie straightened up, shook her cropped fair hair back, and squared her shoulders. Kath nearly groaned, recognizing Amie's transition into her Brave Heroic Princess Mode.

"We choose to run the Labyrinth," Amie declared strongly. "Offer me no deceitful lies or temptations of sweet fruit as distractions!" Kath smothered a giggle as Amie barreled on. "I've finally come here to run the Labyrinth. We can't turn back now!"

With a deep sigh and a scowl, the funny little man turned to Kath. "She's made her wish clear, but don't ever say I didn't warn ye. Do ye also agree to refuse the peach?

Kath shrugged. What the heck, maybe it would make the dream less boring. "Uh, sure, I wouldn't let Amie do this alone."

The gnome gave them both a level, calculating look. "As ye wish." He cleared his throat self-importantly and began to intone flatly, his voice suddenly layered with a strange resonance. "Ye have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth before ye become the property of the Goblin King … forever. Or for whatever amount time he specifies. And if you give up at any time, you forfeit everything to the King."

The girls stood there, waiting expectantly.

"Well, shoo," he gestured irritably, scowling. As they glanced at each other and headed towards the walls to the labyrinth, Kath could have sworn she heard the gnome murmur words that the breeze carried softly to her ear.

"Such a pity."

When she looked back, the gnome and his peaches had gone.

They approached the labyrinth walls a little hesitantly, treading heavily through the verdant grass and kicking up those little sparks of light. There was no visible door, or outline of a door, or any clue to any sort of entrance. Even the patterns in the stone were exactly the same. Kath tentatively reached out a hand to touch the weathered surface, then yelped as a shocking pain shot through her fingers. She retreated back into the green zone and cautiously examined her hand. There was no visible mark, but it had been a surprisingly sharp and realistic sensation for a dream.

"Um." Kath plopped down into the tall grass. "I have no idea what's going on, or how we're supposed to get in, and that _hurt, so_ it's all yours, Amie." The French girl shot her a disgusted look, muttered, "Lazy bum," and began exploring down the wall, careful not to accidentally touch it.

Kath grinned and lay down in the soft grass to stare up at the sky above. She stayed absolutely still, slowly breathing in and out and letting go all of her thoughts, pretending she could feel the slow rotation of the earth under her. Within just a few moments, many of the sparkling bright light things flew into her field of vision. She watched them make intricate loops for a while, the trails of light they left interweaving into complex patterns, and vaguely wondered what they were. They were moving too fast for her to be sure, but they looked like an interesting cross between a dragonfly and a lightning bug. As the firefly-like lights slowly spiraled down toward her, and Kath squinted as she tried to discern their shape.

To Kath's intense surprise, each light was actually a miniscule fairy clad in dark beetle-shell armor. Each sported dozens of pairs of tiny dragonfly wings that beat so fast they were only discernible as a faint vibration. The furiously beating wings themselves seemed to be the source of the radiating light. Though a fairy itself was about as big as her thumbnail, the glow it gave off was disproportionately bright. Kath couldn't help but marvel at their unique beauty.

A miniature fairy hovered above her curiously, then finally came to a perch on the very tip of Kath's nose. She held absolutely still, crossing her eyes in an effort to watch the beautiful creature as it rested its wings. As its various pairs of wings slowed down and stopped, the warm glow they gave off also died down.

"Hello," she murmured to the fairy. Alarmed, it took off again, and several of them swarmed above her face in a kind of mesmeric chaos.

_hello hello ello hello_, many little whispers echoed her spiraled back down around her, and the previous fairy returned to hover right above her nose again. Kath smiled. "Decide to come back?"

_come back back to come back come decide come back_

Even more glow-fairies seemed to join the ones curiously zooming around her face. Two more landed on her nose, so tiny Kath felt only a slight tickling sensation, like a tiny current of static electricity, at their arrival. Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming urge to sneeze.

"Ah... ah... ah-CHOO!"

_ah CHOO ah CHOO ah ah CHOO ah CHOO! _They all lifted up in a mass cloud, zipping around wildly as they imitated her violent sneeze, creating a haze of bright yellow light around her. _ah choo ah CHOO ah choo ah ah ah CHOO! _Kath couldn't help but laugh, and they joined in, sounding like the soft tinkling of bells.

Then, in a blink of an eye, they all suddenly disappeared. Blinking, trying to see past the light imprints on her retinas, Kath sat up to see Amelie returning from her search.

"Find anything?" Kath asked cheerfully.

"No!" Amie grumbled indignantly. "There should be but that weird dwarf thing left before I could ask it the right question and..."

"Gnome," Kath corrected absentmindedly, and stood up. The bright light was still seared across her vision, painting random glowing splotches on the world around her. "Hey, was that there before?" She pointed at the light outline of a small, modest door on the wall in front of them, squinting and rubbing her eyes.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing there. You need to get your eyes checked, lady," Amie sighed, looking defeated.

"Geez, Amie, I didn't know you were such a quitter... and we're not even in the labyrinth yet," Kath teased. She walked toward the spot in question on the wall. Depending on how she looked at it, the outline was clearer and more visible if she tilted her head a certain way. As the spots faded from her vision, so did the outline of the door. Taking a risk and acting on her impulse – well, it was a dream, anyway, how risky could it turn out to be? – she reached out and put her palm against the stone where she estimated the handle was...

She steeled herself for a shock that never came. As she came into contact with the ancient-feeling stone, it dissolved away under her fingers to form a square tunnel through the thick wall. Kath eyed it dubiously; in order to get through without touching the sides or top, they'd have to carefully go through on their hands and knees.

"How in the world did you find that?" Amie asked eagerly, jumping forward.

"I guess the lightning-fairies helped me open my eyes, so to speak," Kath mused.

"What fairies?" Amie asked curiously, looking around.

"You know, the glowing things that were flying around everywhere. They're gone now."

"I didn't see them," Amie pouted. "How come they came out for you but not me? That's not fair."

"Uhhh, sure. Anywho, aren't we on a time limit here? Wanna go first?" Kath had claustrophobia issues resulting from being locked in a boiler room as a child, and even though the tunnel was only a few feet long it still made her a tiny bit nervous.

Amie got down on her hands and knees and easily crawled through in a few seconds. Kath followed more slowly, trying not to think about whether it would shock her if she touched the walls and about the stone all around her.

They emerged only to find another wall straight ahead. To both their left and their right, the passageway continued on to infinity without any seeming turns. A strange glittery powdery coated the walls and the rocky ground.

"Ummm..." Kath began, confused again. "Isn't a labyrinth supposed to have... turns? You know, like a maze?"

Amie hovered for a moment, undecided, then walked purposefully down the left passageway. "There's supposed to be an opening somewhere on the right that was just can't see... _un illusion.._"

Kath caught up to her brisk pace and raised an eyebrow. "So what, we just randomly try to chance across the illusion?"

"I don't know!" Amie hissed, suddenly frustrated, breaking out into a wobbly run on her heels. "Everything's so different!"

"Hey hey, wait up a second, mademoiselle Mabouf." Kath grabbed at her arm and halted her. "Just calm down and think it through rationally before you do something rash and break an ankle. You've been doing awesome so far, we have plenty of time." Kath found it a little funny that even in her own messed-up dream, she was still in the role of always comforting Amie.

Amie slumped into a dejected slouch, her moods changing yet again. "I guess," she grumbled, and began walking slowly down the passageway, inspecting every inch of the wall to her right. Kath followed closely, leisurely taking in her surroundings.

"Whoah. That is trippy." Kath poked a strange-looking growth on the wall, like a mossy nest of eyeballs. They hissed at her touch and quickly withdrew into themselves like anemones. "...Or just weird." She wondered what their purpose was, or if they really had any.

Kath watched Amie walk on down the passageway. Even though she encouraged her, it really didn't seem like there was any way through. She sighed, not wanting to see Amie disappointed, or even worse for both of them, ready to make a tantrum. She leaned against the wall, then remembered how that hurt her before and belatedly jumped back. It didn't shock her, and she just felt foolish.

"What're you looking at?" she growled, glaring the eye moss that was watching her with interest. "You're actually kinda creepy. My subconscious must be _so_ messed up."

"'Allo."

Kath, startled, spun around. There was no one there.

"I'm right here, lady. In the left wall."

Kath slowly approached the outer wall, looking for the source of the tiny voice. She squatted down next to a little niche in the stone, where a vivid blue caterpillar-like creature sat. It had Einstein-like neon blue hair and an adorable little red scarf on.

"Why hello, sir. I'm so sorry I didn't see you before, there must be something wrong with my eyes. I love your scarf, it's absolutely dashing."

The caterpillar creature smiled warmly. "Oh, you're a charmingly civilized young lady. Haven't seen anyone of the likes of you in ages. Won't you come in and meet the missus? She's the one who knitted my scarf, you know. Why don't you come in, and have a cup of tea?"

Kath returned his smile. As far as dreams went, visiting a little caterpillar-worm's wife seemed like a perfectly plausible and enjoyable course of action. "Oh, I'd love to, thank you! A cup of tea sounds lovely right now. Let me just call my friend." Amie slumped into a dejected slouch, her moods changing yet again. "I guess," she grumbled, and began walking slowly down the passageway, inspecting every inch of the wall to her right. Kath followed closely, leisurely taking in her surroundings.

"Whoah. That is trippy." Kath poked a strange-looking growth on the wall, like a mossy nest of eyeballs. They hissed at her touch and quickly withdrew into themselves like anemones. "...Or just weird." She wondered what their purpose was, or if they really had any.

Kath watched Amie walk on down the passageway. Even though she encouraged her, it really didn't seem like there was any way through. She sighed, not wanting to see Amie disappointed, or even worse for both of them, ready to make a tantrum. She leaned against the wall, then remembered how that hurt her before and belatedly jumped back. It didn't shock her, and she just felt foolish.

"What're you looking at?" she growled, glaring the eye moss that was watching her with interest. "You're actually kinda creepy. My subconscious must be [i]so[/i] messed up."

"'Allo."

Kath, startled, spun around. There was no one there.

"I'm right here, lady. In the left wall."

Kath slowly approached the outer wall, looking for the source of the tiny voice. She squatted down next to a little niche in the stone, where a vivid blue caterpillar-like creature sat. It had Einstein-like neon blue hair and an adorable little red scarf on.

"Why hello, sir. I'm so sorry I didn't see you before, there must be something wrong with my eyes. I love your scarf, it's absolutely dashing."

The caterpillar creature smiled warmly. "Oh, you're a charmingly civilized young lady. Haven't seen anyone of the likes of you in ages. Won't you come in and meet the missus? She's the one who knitted my scarf, you know. Why don't you come in, and have a cup of tea?"

Kath returned his smile. As far as dreams went, visiting a little caterpillar-worm's wife seemed like a perfectly plausible and enjoyable course of action. "Oh, I'd love to, thank you! A cup of tea sounds lovely right now. Let me just call my friend, sir..."

"You can call me Mr. Worm. Yes, yes, you both come in and have a cup of tea..."

"Amie!" Kath called down the passageway. "Come back!" She stood up and waved until Amelie's figure began to listlessly return.

Amie was fuming as she approached into hearing distance. "Kath, I'm frustrated and angry and I can't find out how to get through and we only have thirteen hours and I want this to be exciting and so far absolutely nothing exciting has happened and -"

"Amie, it's okay, chill," Kath soothed, giving her a hug. "You shouldn't get all stressed out, this is just a weird dream, nothing more."

"But it's NOT," Amie wailed, pushing her away. "You're not even helping just because you don't realize just how real this is. Kath, you're not dreaming, for God's sake, this is totally real and I decided to run the Labyrinth like the movie, and now if we don't solve it within 13 hours Jareth is going to turn us into a disgusting bunch of goblins or something."

Everything around Kath seemed to settle into focus, like she was just recovering from dizziness after a long time spinning around in circles. She slowly stated, "Wait... this isn't a dream?" Somehow those words rang true in her mouth. Either this was the most unnaturally detailed and long dream she had ever had, or she was unknowingly slipped some crack and was now on some long random trip.

"No, it's not a dream at all. Or at least, then I'm totally dreaming too, and that would just be a lame piece of _merde_."

"And we can't both be dreaming the same dream so either one of us is dreaming the other one, or it's not a dream..." Kath mused, thinking through the logic and what she knew about dreams. Though her surroundings didn't change, she felt herself become more determined and in focus. If this wasn't a dream, there was something the gnome had said about danger and regretting the choice to run the Labyrinth. Kath shouldn't have had gone along with Amie this whole time; she made rash, illogical decisions a lot, which Kath felt like she had a responsibility to talk her out of. She had failed in that respect already. And it seemed like now they were stuck in the middle of the consequences; they had to get to the center of the labyrinth, past all of its tricks and illusions and traps and distractions, within thirteen hours or they could never go back. Kath groaned, putting her head in her hands.

"Aren't you going to introduce me, dear?"

Amie suddenly lifted her head curiously. "Where did that come from? Wait, you haven't seen a little blue worm anywhere, have you?"

Kath rolled her eyes. "What, like that one?" She pointed at the place where the caterpillar creature resided, watching them with interest. "Amie, meet Mr Worm. He invited us in for a nice cup of tea."

"And to meet the missus, don't forget that," Mr Worm added jovially.

Amie bent down, her face suddenly lighting up. "Do you know the way to the center of the Labyrinth?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'm just a worm. A little worm like me doesn't know the way. But you knew that already, didn't you? Come in, have a cup of tea."

Amie took a deep breath, like she was dealing with a difficult young child. Kath frowned slightly. "Sorry, we need to solve the labyrinth. We're stuck and we don't have much time."

"Aww, poor dearies. Why would you want to go into the labyrinth? The Goblin King's there, and we all try to avoid _him_," he nodded his head wisely.

"But we're trying to _find _him, don't you see?" Amie was starting to get frustrated again.

Kath carefully slipped in between her in the worm and knelt down so that he was eye level. "Mr Worm, are you sure you can't help us? Do you know how to get out of this passageway?"

"Oh, sure. It's easy. Come inside, meet the missus. A nice hot cup of tea will help you."

Kath caught Amie's eye, noticing that the blonde girl was gripping her hair, trying not to scream in frustration. She gave her an admonitory look and turned back to the worm. "That sounds very nice, Mr. Worm, thank you. We would love to have a cup of tea with you. But how do we get in?"

"Just come i_nside_," he told them a little exasperatingly, and as he spoke the words with a strange, layered timbre, he seemed to get larger and larger. It happened so subtly yet so quickly, that Kath was facing him within a blink, the Labyrinth walls towering over her, seeming to stretch for miles and miles. Each little piece of gravel seemed to zoom up to the size of a pillow. Amie grabbed onto her as a rush of vertigo filled both their heads.

They stared into Mr Worm's friendly bright orange eyes, who was now almost exactly their size. The labyrinth hadn't grown around them, of course; Kath and Amie themselves had shrunk. They gave each other wondering glances

"Excellent! That's more like it! Now come inside, have a cup of tea!" He turned swiftly and waddled into a small - well, now door-sized - opening between the stones in the wall. Kath cautiously followed, Amie treading right behind her nervously.

They walked into the dark opening a little ways before Kath felt something heavy and soft in front her. Before she could freak out, she realized it was a hanging blanket and pushed past it, dragging Amie after her.

Tiny lights flared to life as the blanket fell back behind them, warmly illuminating a cozy tearoom full of cushions and other such fluffy things with tassels. Mr Worm excused himself, saying he'd go find the mistress, and disappeared behind a drape on the other side of the room.

Amie and Kath stood near the wall, unsure what to do. The room was inviting, and almost uncomfortably warm; every square foot –_well, at this size, it's actually probably a millimeter_– of stone was draped with layers and layers of soft-looking knit blankets. The air was relaxingly thick and languid. For some strange reason, Kath felt uneasy with the unnaturally relaxing and safe-seeming ambiance, and automatically checked the room for exits. She couldn't see any... _oh yeah, the knit blankets cover the exits. _Not being able to distinguish the exits and entrances from the rest of the room unnerved her.

A complex, enticing scent permeated the air from somewhere, seeming to reach into Kath's very bones and tug at every cell in her body. She found herself stepping forward, away from the entrance, as the blankets parted to reveal Mr Worm again, behind him, carrying a platter with a steaming teapot and two mugs on her back...

...was the missus. She was similar yet totally different from Mr Worm. Where Mr Worm was somewhat adorable with his round body and erratic tufts of blue hair sprouting from leathery skin. His missus just looked like... a grub. Her skin's texture looked like something on the sidewalk that you didn't want to touch, and it was a strange color that was a mixture between puce and reddish brown. Her face gave the simultaneous impression of both a pug and of a very, very, very old and overweight mother. Unlike Mr Worm, her hair more like small patches of red fur that randomly dotted her body like raised scabs. But despite her appalling ugliness – or almost because of it? – she embodied a strange draw, her homeliness attracting instead of repulsing.

And then Kath looked into her eyes. Completely at odds with the rest of the worm, they were wide, luminous, and utterly enthralling. They subtly shifted color, now the bright green of spring grass, now the turquoise blue of sea glass, now sunshine lemon yellow, now the deep crimson of a beautiful sunset, now a velvety purple fit for kings... The girls found themselves spellbound by their beauty. Kath completely disregarded how disgusting the rest of the worm was; the missus was lovely, trustworthy, kind, stunning...

Mr. Worm spoke, and Kath finally blinked and tore her eyes away to move to his orange ones, feeling disoriented. "This here's my missus. She's been dying to have company, you know, been always nagging me to bring someone in for some tea." He sounded full of pride at presenting her.

A soft melodic voice flowed from a lipless, crinkled mouth. "I'm very pleased to meet you," she twinkled, shifting her bulky body in between the piles of cushions as she headed toward a long wooden table. "No one's come in for a nice cup of tea in _ages._ Whoops!" The tea nearly spilled as it teetered on her back, and Kath darted forward to catch the platter and place it carefully on the table. The heady enticing smell intensified in closer proximity to the tea. Kath longed to learn what it tasted like, but the missus was speaking again.

"Why thank you, dearie. Clumsy me. What're your lovely names, hmm?" Kath wasn't repulsed by her misshapen smile, her eyes instead drawn to meet those beautiful, now deep purple jewels...

"Um, my name's Kath. This is Amie, and..." Kath trailed off as she tried to remember their original goal. "We're trying to solve this labyrinth and get to the castle, but we couldn't get past the second wall..."

"Of course you couldn't, dearie. _He_'s sealed off that wall. He doesn't enjoy company as much as we do."

"Well, no one can really understand the King's mind nowadays. He's very unpredictable" Mr Worm added lightheartedly.

The missus tsked and maneuvered them almost forcefully to a seat upon the cushions. "Well I don't understand how anyone would want to refuse to see two nice girls like you. Please, please, ignore our jabbering and pour yourself a nice cup of tea. I would pour it for you, of course, but I'm afraid I don't have those utterly useful arms and hands that you amazing humans do." The two worms watched expectantly as Kath reached out for the teapot.

Steam swirled up around Kath's face as she poured the tea into the two mugs. It seemed like a many different sensory feelings assaulted her at once; she got a small taste of a strange mixture of all that she loved in life... without further ado she eagerly raised the mug to her mouth, not caring about if she burned her mouth.

She took a small sip, and everything around her seemed to roil and disappear as her senses overloaded.

Millions of images flashed through her mind, one after another, lightning swift glimpses of happiness, of lying in the grass on a warm summer day...

...up to her elbows baking a cake in the kitchen with her mother...

...curling up by the fire with a cup of hot chocolate...

...Jason's lips briefly on hers...

...singing along as her dad played their grand piano, the notes spiraling and interweaving beautifully around each other...

...giggling with Amie, nestled in a pillow fort, hair in pigtails...

...galloping on a chestnut stallion, reveling in the thrill as the wind rushed through her hair...

...rehearsing for the latest play in school with her peers...

...dancing in a late night club, feeling the rhythm of the music...

...standing outside in the pouring rain, laughing her head off as the water soaked into her skin...

Kath nearly dropped the cup, her eyes closing as her surroundings finally swam back into focus. Her first instinct was to gulp the rest of the mug down, relive the rest of those beautiful, happy, relaxing memories... she lifted the cup again, but some kind of alarm clanged in the back of her brain and made her pause.

_...always check what you're drinking, especially if someone gives it to you, Kath..._

She looked down into her mug. The tea pulled her in, tempting her with hints of those happy scenes, shifting colors like the missus' eyes did...

Kath suddenly remembered where she was, the room she was in, Amelie beside her. Amie was motionless, her eyes closed with the mug lifted to her mouth, a smile of bliss etched across her face. _Amie is already susceptible. Any more, and we'll both stay here forever, doing anything just for another taste of the worms' tea…_ And they definitely didn't have forever to dawdle. They didn't even have thirteen hours. It was all Kath needed to break the hold of the tantalizing liquid, even as her body and mind yearned for more.

She let go of her mug, letting it fall to the carpeted floor. The tea splashed out all over the carpet, scalding her foot. The pain helped her further pull herself out of her languid, droopy state.

"Oh dear, oh dear, don't you like it, honey?" The missus worm had an anxious expression on her face, distorting it even further. Kath resisted the pull of her beautiful concerned eyes, forcing herself to look anywhere else. "No one's ever not liked it before."

"Missus made it especially for you," Mr Worm said, moving forward. Kath immediately perceived it as a threat, her mind finally snapping back to its safety-oriented state.

She grabbed the blissed-out Amie, knocking the addicting tea out of her hands, and leaped up, backing away from the two worms. They began to look a little pissed off. "And to think I thought of you as such a nice, polite girl," Mr Worm sighed, moving to blocking the curtain they had originally come through.

"And then you come in and spill me tea all over the knits. Really, that'll take _forever _to get out," the missus added, advancing on her.

"We just wanted to help you, dear. Why, if you keep on trying to get to the castle, when the King gets to you, it'll be _much _less pleasant than staying here would ever be." Mr Worm's voice was almost pleading. "Besides, look how much your friend wants to stay!"

Amie had tugged out of Kath's grip and reached for the teapot again. Kath leaped forward - for a second her mind clashing between seizing it to drink or throwing it at the worms - and dashed it off the table, out of both of their reach.

"Such a pity," they both chorused sadly, looking at the tea seep into the knits.

Not wanting to see what they would do next, Kath forcefully grabbed Amie and began frantically pushing against the layers of knits hanging on the walls, looking for an opening behind. Her main hope was that the worms weren't dangerous in and of themselves - they didn't even have arms, for Pete's sake - but she knew that if they stayed in the confined room any longer, they wouldn't be able to resist going back and begging for more tea.

Amie was tugging at her grip again, her eyes unfocused. Kath cursed inwardly as she slammed against the walls, edging around the room. Amie was already mentally fragile as it was, without any external forces like addicting tea or creepy charming worms. And Kath would do anything to protect Amie...

Finally! The drapes gave way under her pressure and they tumbled into a pitch-dark passageway that led... down. _Well, there's no way in heck that I'm going back, so here we go!_ Kath stumbled down the narrow space, using one hand to follow the wall and the other one to keep hold of Amie, who seemed to be slowly recovering. She didn't risk running, not knowing what lay ahead. The worms could only move so fast without legs, and besides, Kath knew for some reason that they weren't going to try and recapture them once they had already escaped. The worms and their addictive tea was meant as a highly affective barrier to slow them down or even stop them, but everything they had said was true, she just knew. The only way to get past the opening layer of the labyrinth was to somehow get under the wall...

The stone's pores under her hands were unnaturally large, as big as her palm herself sometimes instead of almost intangibly minuscule as they should be. Kath worried about how they were going to get back to normal size, as she didn't even know how they'd become so small in the first place.

And suddenly, there was no more floor under her feet.

She grabbed on tight to Amie and they fell. It was a slightly different from the one she had had when she had first fallen into this world; she could feel a vast, dark space around her, but she had no idea how far below her the ground was...

A familiar glow suddenly flared up around her. She felt small hands surround her, catch her, slow her fall as the darkness fled to be replaced by warm yellow light.

Kath's heart lightened. The firefly-fairies from earlier now encircled her and Amie, holding them as they hovered in place, but now they were a third her size instead of a hundredth. "Hello again," she laughed.

They danced around her at the sound of her voice, twirling her and Amie in joy as they bobbed up and down in the air.

_hello hello hello oh hello!_

Kath could see their figures much more clearly now that they were bigger - no, now that she was smaller - and realized that they weren't wearing black beetle-shell armor, their skin in itself was shiny black and impenetrably hard, their limbs thin and insect-like in some respects, but their faces and figure were strangely human - childlike, to be more exact.

"Will you help us? Or can you turn us big again?"

They swirled around the two girls, enthralled by her voice, and the fairies tiring to hold them up in the cavernous space handed their burdens off to new fairies.

_will help us help you will help help turn big again? _They chattered softly among themselves, their words melding into a whispery hum. _will help?_

Suddenly some mass decision was made that Kath missed, and without warning they all simultaneously let go.

And once again, they were falling down, down into the darkness. Kath was furious, scared, and frustrated all at the same time; would nobody help them in this place? As the glow above her faded away, she braced herself for a painful impact against rock.. and she felt the strange sensation fo her skin stretching, her bones groaning and lengthening, her ligaments unfurling... Growing up _hurt._


	4. Interlude I

_Main storyline will resume after this short break. Please, pop yourself some popcorn and enjoy some gobliny goodness. Watch out, they might steal some._

* * *

Interlude I

"Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?" A remarkably hairy goblin skidded into the Goblin City Central Hall and tripped flat on his face over one of the many dead-drunk goblins dotted across the ground. No one stopped what they were doing, but then again no one was doing much.

"Whaa?" the violated bleary-eyed goblin groaned.

"Wut? Wot? What? Vhaaat?" A goblin with huge, curly tusks reminiscent of an Italian mustachio popped his head out of the spout of the fountain he was purposefully clogging up.

"Chicken butt?" a tiny little mouse-like goblin squeaked curiously.

"Awwwww... you guessed it." The first goblin's humongously long eyebrows drooped in disappointment.

"Oh," the drunk goblin grunted, except maybe it was more of an 'Ouf' or an 'Uhrrf' or just the involuntary sound goblins make when they pass out.

A scrounging black chicken passed by and took a vengeful peck at the mouse-goblin. "CHICKEN BUTT," the tiny goblin shrieked with terror and ran up the first goblin's eyebrows to hide in his plentiful knots of hair.

"I thought you wuz gunna talk 'bout 'is Majesty," the mustachio goblin grumbled to himself as he tried unsuccessfully to extricate himself from the fountain spout.

"His Majesty?" a larger goblin spurted out all of his royally "banned" fairy beer and doubled over coughing as he tried to look around wildly. "Where?" he finally wheezed out.

"Nowhere," the hairy goblin thumped him on the back cheerfully. "His Majesty's sulking in the castle like always, still not caring what poor innocent beings we wreak havoc on."

"No he ain't, stoopid," the mustachio goblin snapped. He had managed to get all but his hips and legs out, and was hanging rather pathetically upside-down off the spout. "Well, soon he ain't gunna be. There ur two new runners."

The mood in the town hall perked up immediately. Dozens of goblins who had been involuntarily listening (for lack of anything else to listen to) started chattering to each other, and even the drunk ones halfway roused themselves.

"New runners? Finally. It was gettin' boring round here."

"Mebbe the King will start singing again."

"I doubt it. Twoo runners awen't going to wast wong."

"Yeah, his Majesty is goin to be especially evil after... _her._"

"Oooh, ooh, I can't wait! Let's go get um!"

"Stoopid! We can't do nuthin' yet unless the King orders us to."

The Goblin City – though really, it was hardly more of a small, badly maintained collection of shacks by now – was suddenly alive and buzzing with action. After all, there was only so much trouble you could wreck without enforced authoritative punishment before you got bored. Or just ran out of ideas. And goblins do not do well bored.

The arrival of the first challengers since _her_ was definitely not boring.

But to some, it was just plain annoying.

Not too far away, in the very depths of the dark and gloomy castle, echoed the sound of a crystal shattering.


	5. Chapter Three

_An __entrée__ of friendship drama, served with a main course of Underground goodness, and finished off with that special someone's very appearance- for dessert, of course. All liberally sprinkled with movie __déjà__ vu for flavor. Bon app__é__tit._

_(I apologize for the long breaks between updates. I have a lot of this story written out, but I have this need to thoroughly edit it to death before I post it. So. I'll try to work on that. Really.)_

_(PLEASE review. *GND-owl-eyes*)  
_

* * *

_There's only one thing that I know how to do well,  
And I've often been told that you only can do  
What you know how to do well._

_And that's be you,  
Be what you're like,  
Be like yourself.._

_And so I'm having a wonderful time  
But I'd rather be whistling in the dark,  
Whistling in the dark,  
Whistling in the dark_

_Whistling in the dark..._

_There's only one thing that I like  
And that is whistling in the dark_

_~Whistling in the Dark by They Might Be Giants_

Thunk. This time, their fall was unimpeded by helpful fairy hands, and they crash landed on hard cold stone instead of sand. It hurt more. A _lot_ more. Kath winced as she struggled to her feet, her eyes watering in pain. She gritted her teeth and rubbed her tailbone. Her butt was going to be black and blue later. There was way too much of this falling theme going on.

Her movements seemed more natural, the molecules around her a more normal size than before. Kath couldn't tell for sure - it was still black as pitch, and her eyes weren't adjusting at all - but it seemed like they were back to normal size. The air seemed much less cavernous as it had when they were tiny… and falling through it. She craned her neck to look up, try to see if there as any lingering light above. Pure darkness met her.

Amie groaned pitifully, and Kath immediately dropped to her knees beside her. "You okay, Amie?" She didn't bother trying to hide her worry, though Amie sometimes got annoyed about her mother-hen quality. "I think we're back to normal size now, and we might be under the labyrinth. Which is a good thing, right?" She tried to talk soothingly, more calmly than she actually felt.

"..Kath? Where are we?" There was a rustling noise as Amie blearily tried to sit up. "I just had the most amazing sequence of dreams..."

"Shh, Amie, don't move. Stay still until you know you're feeling okay. Then we can keep moving and totally beat this labyrinth up..." Kath was trying to sound optimistic, but really she was just weary and resigned. She had gotten sucked into this entire rather trippy but pointless mess because of Amie, after all, though also because she wasn't being alert enough to realize that this couldn't only be a dream. At the rate things were going, she suspected her bitterness would soon get a lot worse.

Amie shifted restlessly and began to climb to her feet in the darkness. "Stop babying me, Kath. You always do that; I'm not gonna break if I get pushed a little. I may be a little immature sometimes, but stop acting like you're my _damn mother_." She sounded extremely irritable. "The Labyrinth is _my_ dream come true, anyway. You need to stop bossing me around."

Kath automatically opened her mouth to retort, then closed it. She'd worked hard all her life on her self control, on keeping her sometimes fiery temper strictly at bay. Kath inwardly prided herself on her strongly developed and quick-acting conscience. Most people didn't really understand why she was so strictly self-sacrificing and contained, and she'd seen countless people become quite annoyed by it. It gave Kath a sense of direction and fulfillment in her life. Whenever she had a struggle with her own selfish emotions and won, she felt an unmatchable feeling of triumph that few people could relate with.

"You're right, Amie, I'm sorry. I know I can be bossy and take the lead too much sometimes." Kath sighed, squashing down her instincts to remind Amie of how that was a _good_ thing in this situation. "Feel free to lead on from here." _I'm tired already of this messed up adventure, anyway._

The tension between them relaxed almost visibly … well, visibly if they hadn't been in utter darkness. Kath could tell Amie was still a little annoyed, though. She heard the soft whispering of fabric as Amie shifted restlessly.

"Well, onward ho," Amie grumbled. "Which way?"

There was no sense of direction in the blackness all around them. "Find a…well, maybe we should try to find a wall and follow that." Kath struggled to make her voice more neutral. Amie's temper would soon pass once something distracted her mind, but while she was still sulking, anything from a misplaced word to a certain tone of voice could set her off.

They blundered around wildly, arms outstretched, keeping tight hold of each other's clothes in order to not lose each other in the directionless night. Getting separated was, at least to Kath, the worst thing that could happen.

There was an audible smack as Amie whacked her hand against a hard surface. "Ow. I think I found it."

They chose a random direction and began walking along the wall, carefully keeping in contact with each other. They seemed to walk for ages in the darkness as it stretched on forever; Kath wondered if they had chosen the right way. At some point she started humming 'Whistling in the Dark,' but Amie had just about mauled her until she stopped.

She looked at Amie beside her, the girl's wide eyes glimmering in the dark as she sulked. Wait…there couldn't be luminescence in pitch darkness. Kath sighed in relief. It seemed to be very subtly getting lighter – or at lest, less dark - as they moved forward. The omnipresent darkness had begun to feel oppressive.

An ominous voice seemed to rumble out of the very rock around them, reverberating in the air. They both shrieked and jumped in opposing directions, slamming into each other painfully.

"THIS IS NOT THE WAYYY." Kath and Amie clutched at each other fearfully, hearts hammering.

"TURN BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAN." Another raspier voice boomed out.

"DON'T GO ON." That one came from behind the girls; they spun around skittishly.

Kath tried to slow her frantically beating heart. The worst part was that she had no idea where in the darkness the voices were coming from. _It's just surprising, they're not attacking us, they're just voices. _ She repeated that to herself like a mantra, but then jumped again at the next voice.

"BEWARE. THE PATH AHEAD IS FRAUGHT WITH PERIL!"

"TAKE HEED, AND GO NO FURTHER!"

"SOON IT WILL BE TOO LATE..."

Amie whimpered, burying her face in Kath's hair. Kath tried to calm herself down and hugged her back, stating flatly, "They're all bark and no bite. They just startled us. They're just trying to get us to turn back. Which means we must be on the right path, right? Look, Amie, it's already a lot lighter than before. We'll get out, just keep walking..." She started peppily singing 'Just Keep Swimming' and lightly tried to relax Amie's vice-like grip.

"What do you do, ooh ooh ooh... just keep swimming, just keep swimming.."

Kath's words (or contagious singing) seemed to comfort Amie enough for her to return her from the verge of stark terror. "I hate you, no matter how pretty your voice is," Amie muttered as she, slightly embarrassed, disentangled herself from Kath. "_I_ sound like a dying frog, _and_ that song's going to be in my head all day."

"TURN BAAACK!"

They both jumped again, but less rattled this time. "You're right, they're just trying to ward us away. Let's go." Amie lifted her chin and took a step forward.

"RUN WHILE YOU -"

"Just shut UP," Kath shouted into the darkness, letting all of her frustrated energy roil into her angry tone. "I swear, the next person who says a word will wish they've never been born. Now shut your big fat gobs or I will for you!"

There was a strange, almost nervous silence.

"Sorry," the last voice muttered timidly.

"Yeah, we won't do it again." That one sounded apologetic.

"It's just our job, missy."

"We're supposed to keep you from going on."

"But by all means, please do," one added hastily.

Kath glared around her threateningly. "I think I shall, thank you very much." She purposefully strode forward through the darkness, Amelie following in awed silence, as the voices whispered around them.

"His Majesty will be displeased with us."

"Well, we can't stop them. We're just pieces of rock."

"Aww, and we haven't given anyone a good scare in such a long time."

"We tried. His Highness can't punish us..."

"The King can punish whomever he wants to..."

They soon left the voices far behind. Kath's feet began to get sore from her dress shoes and she kicked them off heedlessly, indifferently leaving them behind in the darkness. She doubted she would ever see them again, but she didn't really care; shoes were just shoes.

After several more minutes of walking in silence, the darkness began to melt away more fully. Kath could finally see their surroundings, and with that certain element of unknown removed, she easily banished the rest of her fear and began to curiously examine the surroundings.

They were traveling in an arched brick tunnel that wasn't particularly large but wasn't particularly small, either. Once again, there was a strange layer of glitter and cobwebs coating everything, glinting like freshly wet pavement. It still felt a tinge ominous. Despite the (visible) lack of skulls, it reminded her a little of the French catacombs...

Amie cleared her throat. "Yeah, I guess you're kinda better at this heroine thing than I am," she admitted a little ruefully, purposefully hiding her eyes with her light hair. "I was kind of useless back there. Sorry I blew up at you before."

Kath was, quite frankly, surprised. Amie had never _apologized _before, no matter how bratty she had acted. "It's okay, you were right. I have faults, too, just as much as anyone else does."

"Psh. Your 'faults' may be annoying, but they're hardly faults at _all_ in comparison to most people." Amelie rolled her eyes, then sighed a little. "You're too dumb _perfect. _Your biggest fault, if you could call it that, is thinking too much about other people. That's all you've done this entire time. All _I _ want to do is have an amazing thrilling adventure and maybe be all fangirly over the sexy Goblin King... and all you want to do is get the heck out of here. I can tell, you know." She wiggled her eyebrows mysteriously. "I'm just surprised you stick around with me…all the time. Even though I can be really annoying. Sometimes."

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head or something? You're being unnaturally perceptive," Kath joked lightly.

Amie glared at her mockingly. "Hey, hey, girl-friend, I was trying to make up for my past and future behavior right there. You tryin' to ruin it?"

"Who, I? Never," Kath teased, but then grew more serious. "Amie, you have to realize that I _don't _find it a hassle to hang out with you. You're fun and quirky and peppy and have a good sense of adventure... which I totally miss out on without you. And you're definitely far from boring."

Amie shot her an evil grin. "You're totally going to regret saying that."

They bantered companionably to kill the time as they walked. The tunnels grew progressively less dim, but there wasn't any obvious source of light. Kath stifled a yawn. Running the labyrinth was a lot more boring than she had expected it to be – but then again, she didn't really have many expectations in the first place. Amie had all of those. Kath really should have watched that movie. Kath wished they could just get on with it, find Amie's Elf King or whatever, and make him send them home.

Suddenly, as if sensing Kath's thought, they came to a crossroads – the first intersection they'd happened across yet. The path branched off somewhat stereotypically into three identical tunnels mouths. They both groaned at the painful cliché.

"I _really_ don't feel like making this type of decision right now," Amie complained, a little whiny.

"Hey, there looks like there's something over there." Next to one of the tunnel entrances sat what looked like a large pile of dirty rags. Kath started toward it curiously.

"Wait, Kath..." Amelie hesitated, seeming like she was simultaneously remembering and forgetting something important. Amie often had that look, so Kath ignored her.

Kath approached the rags a little warily. They shifted strangely at her footsteps, and a strange, boney bird-like head suddenly popped out of the top.

"What do we have here, hmmmmm? Two young girls, wandering the Underground alone?" The vulture-like head twisted its long neck to peer at Kath with a cold, beady eye. Kath had to resist the urge to take a step back. The creature didn't seem especially dangerous – despite its long beak – but it exuded an air of deadly menace that contradicted its ragtag appearance. "Hmmmm. Looking for something, maybe? Perhaps the brave little girl is asking for _help_ from me poor self, hrmmm?" The rags seemed to shift again, and Kath could now tell that they were tattered, once colorful layers of dirty clothing.

"Hrmmmm? Cat got your tongue?" The bird-thing clacked its beak in amusement, but in that very action there was the almost tangible undercurrent of a threat. Kath involuntarily flinched, taking a small step back.

Kath winced at her irrational fear and composed herself. _It's just a weird bird-thing. Who seems to hate me, and I haven't even done anything yet. No big._

"Do you know which way to take to get to the castle?" Kath asked.

The bird-beggar threw back its head and cackled. The inhuman sound sent chills down Kath's spine. "Do _I _ know the way to the castle, hmmm? If I knew, why should I help you, silly girl?" It cocked its head, mocking malice filling its voice. Kath no longer had any doubts about it hating her.

"Er..." She didn't know what to say. "I don't know."

"You don't know, you don't know? Well then why don't you figure that out, hmmm? Figure out your priorities _before_ you wish yourself away, perhaps?" Its voice slid from harsh and shrill to cool and silky smooth ice... The bird-creature seemed to suddenly straighten, grow taller before her. Kath stepped back in confusion and accidentally bumped into Amie.

Then the beggar bird fell apart, the rags falling away to the ground, a costume discarded by an actor. In its place stood, unmistakably, the Goblin King.

Kath didn't know what she had expected, really. The image that came to her mind when she thought of the title 'Goblin King' was, well, a goblin. If she was told that the Goblin King was not a goblin, she'd imagine a frumpy, short old guy with a ridiculously flashy crown. If she was told that the Goblin King was _not_ an old frumpy guy, her mind would struggle for a while and then eventually come up with the stereotypical image of a brooding, darkly handsome man that her mind associated with all royal fantasy figures who weren't frumpy old men.

The man who lounged on the wall before her in a lazily threatening way definitely differed from her vague masculine expectations (though probably not from Amie's.) His face was all sharp angles and lines; his shadowed eyes were cool blue ice under delicately arched eyebrows. Kath couldn't deny that was attractive in his own, different way, with wild, jagged blonde hair and slender limbs. His clothes, however, were just ridiculous.

The King wore a combined ensemble of an ostentatiously jeweled dark leather jacket over a ruffled shirt that looked like it belonged in the Victorian era, way-too-tight pants, shiny black boots, long supple gloves, and even topped it all off with a little _cape._Yet despite his bizarre choice of clothing, which would have looked ridiculous or at the least overly pretentious on anyone else, the Goblin King pulled it off with self-assured grace. Instead of detracting from his appearance, the outfit accentuated the dark aura of power that subtly thrummed in the air around him.

Amie swayed, and leaned into Kath; she looked like she was going to overload and faint from fawning happiness. Kath raised an eyebrow as he took a step forward. His eyes – _they're mismatched, how strange _– glared into hers; she couldn't help but shiver at the tightly reigned rage that lurked behind his cold, shuttered expression. She felt suddenly unprotected, weak, in her prom dress and bare feet.

"I hope you've enjoyed the Labyrinth so far," he purred, his smoothly alluring voice a contrast to the icy hate seething darkly within his eyes, "but really, I'm not accepting visitors."

"Sorry, Your Majesty, but we're kind of committed by now," Kath replied slowly, giving him a frank smile. She was _not_ going to forfeit already and, what, become _his_ property? This arrogant, rage-filled pomp? There wasn't really any turning back now...

He smiled sardonically back at her, his eyes flashing with some unreadable emotion. "Such a pity." A feral grin danced across his face, never touching his cold eyes. "How about upping the stakes?"

His predatory gaze suddenly shifted to where Amelie stood. She watched him with wide, deer-in-the headlight eyes, struck dumb by the sudden appearance of Prince Charming. He gave a single, slow laugh as he deliberately looked over Amie's flagrantly low red dress.

"I don't think so, _Goblin King_," Kath hissed, moving to stand protectively in front of her friend. "Over my dead body."

"Please, call me Jareth." He leaned forward with a mockingly friendly smile, his eyes dangerous. Almost unthinkingly, he touched a lock of her dark hair before he unexpectedly stepped back and raised a gloved hand as if to strike her. Kath barely suppressed a flinch.

A crystal ball appeared between his long fingers, gleaming in the low light. Jareth gave a low chuckle. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He unexpectedly turned and threw the crystal far into the dark corridor behind them, the way they had come from. He bared wickedly sharp teeth at them in a dangerous grin as strange howls and growls began to echo in the darkness behind them.

"Run along now, little girls. Don't let the hellhounds bite." Jareth's darkly gleeful laughter overlay the savage, animalistic noises growing closer behind them.

Kath needed no further urging. She grabbed Amie and took off down a random corridor. The King was already gone.


End file.
